Shutting down all the lines of communication

I hate to say it, but I have never had the best relationship with our wife… Even in the start when all of us were dating all of us would frequently have disagreements, still all of us wanted to be married, however we figured once all of us were married things would get better, and in some ways they did. However, over time things have only gotten worse, i do not know love there is any getting through to him. If there was one thing that she was to do that I cannot stand, it would be that she shuts down all lines of communication. What I mean by this is, whenever all of us have an fight she consistently has to right, she cannot handle any kind of criticism and she will really refuse to talk about it, as someone that is a firm believer that talking about what concerns both of you are facing will help you understand each other better and bring up some solutions to said concerns., her outright refUSAl to talk about anything is importantly aggravating. When there is no communication in a relationship, you will find no solutions. I believe this all too well from our own experiences. A recent example of a fight all of us had was over the control unit. When all of us first moved into our beach house together she wanted a current control unit, I was enjoyable with the old dial control component but since she wanted a smart control component she gave to buy it… Then she did, now she has gotten it into her head that since she pays for it, and that she “did it for me” which she didn’t, that she has full control over our entire heating and and I am not allowed to complain about because she “does so much for me” I am starting to see how manipulative the whole thing truly is, you don’t go acting love you’re going to do something nice for someone, only to use it as ammunition against them later. A gift with strings attached isn’t a gift at all.
Cooling and heating company